Refuse to Work
Could barely touch anything today. Days when refuse to work just because I cant get myself to do it. And let the anger even churn into emptiness.
Meta physicals going through the blender. Yeats gives me room there… visitations create cross pollination. Druidic rush is metaphorical treas when it was still a discovery. Combinatorial, with theory, theory occurs there too, embryonically.
Seriously
I’d wake up for a drink… The need to reach engages in the distance, and because of Z, is even constructing through my own incantations with philosophy in the meat - and its emergence through rhyme - beckoning bellowing back, letting timber with glowing detail…shocked at its incantational fly outs.
But it is its own samovar? The drink the drink. Do I drink anymore. No not much.
Mapping Faces
In sketches, am mapping faces. As well as doing sticks for figures, simplifying all basic body parts, for pose.
Bought Canvas Paper to do color mix study, using oils, where all I do is mix colors, not draw it into anything, just mix colors.
Taking them through flesh tones brights tints and muds. I like doing it. It feels good to mix something other than words.
Grab Bit
Dig through to misty with the Y, grab bit patch for freedoms latch. Dont blame others might get sick of my always talking about it here. On and on.
Sorry artwork is basically just mash up. All it is to ME is quick mash up. But when I draw - must stick with it, get frustrated how long takes me to do a good drawing.
Must be in constant touch with skull and bones and figure and lips etc, sometimes if I am drawing a lot a lot, body begins to come up “on its own.”
Otherwise, I have to dig for it. And if I dig for it - like in the writing, I can find it. And in a way it is, for any outcome I start going after, just as precious.
Block Heads
But now I am going to do blocks. In painting with color. And line. Sometimes doing lines with brushes scares me because I am so used to using pencils where rub up to a line via shading. Lines become measured… And hatched.
And I dont want to do that. I want to do blocks and lines.
Testing other paints this summer too.
Sub Versive
Last three chapters worked on, are engaged in a structuring of the meta, I mean it’s got its own language, which I remember reading about wrt Sylvia.
Two things from her came across strongly for me. That her Prose was different from her Rhyme. And her Rhyme was an animal in its own right, revealing its teeth. Sylvia rarely rhymes towards the end. And yet the poems have a rhythmic intensity.
Mine is more entrenched in liquid, where rhymes act as a kind of subversive?
Yeats would u say that ? Sub Versive he yells back. Love that. If you start hearing voices then you know you are getting somewhere.
People always get mad at you for falling into love with the meat in the hex change.
That I should be expecting allowances. For nestling in its dementia…
Lève-Toi
Take it as it comes. Stand Up stand up. Leve-toi in French. So glad second handing lang bang with French because it helps me simplify? like c and b.
I cant help mocking my meta blendering, but thats a Joycian off shooter.
Here I am doing a Cioran like journal. No. This isn’t like him. This is more like Clarice and Sylvia. It just is.
Show Up Here
Finished Cioran entry working on for this week, will have 1959 done by next Month. Heading into the Sixties.
But then I have to reconfigure a new set up for the journal on my site. If it ever gets published, would want to do as a Dual Language version. Probably not that hard to create for Cioran’s Estate - by the book and all.
Emil gets visits everyday.
It cant have it all on one page I’d have to spend more. So I am going to make year chapters. And have one front page - which includes year working on. New custom post.
Next on Novel
Think. Feels like in novel— have to find a way to bring in ground again. Found a way to intersperse ground simply and mosaically.
I think in rhetorical countenance with Z on addressing theory, and NC and SM also on addressing theory? Yes rhetorical theory is poked at in skunkworks, half jokingly but also deadly serious at same time.
Because they go there. From where they are.
Beck Flecks
Becks Flecks. He flexes in verb rummagings - I dont do that, as verbs, but I do with rhyme.
He barely bothers with rhyme. I’m just another rhyme roller. There are a few of us here.
My poetry is s different world? Yes based on Sylvia’s freedoms, she confirms that for me you see. Not writing poetry now. No thats a lie. I have been finishing several . Because they get read by somebody over at my site. Get a hit.
Spurs me to review. Many are mostly done. They are not modern as much as after Cioran’s frisson to unseal reveal, depth of its rapture, an ecstatic tremor and terror drunk on its love and fossilized into death. Again and again reborn in its wickedness, rupture, tenderness, stealth.
Novel carries it off into horizons across the poetic front, that is freer, gets into theory too, crawls into the fiction with Yes to the world Men: like Maya and NC.
I could have six books of poetry when done.
You Turn Me Right Round
Yeats went off into loosies, and after that book, he immediately turns back - in his next book.
In the his her poems, Yeats is relinquishing himself again to using a comedic structural. A B. Stanza’s are relatively free with a bit of rhyme thrown in and some repetition endings, like Poe uses at ends of stanzas.
Tho not as blakian as poe. Or rhyme time pulsing on the divine as Shelley or Dante.
Then the next five or six poems he is back to bobbing for apples in druid waters, with the meta flows, and yet - not as much absorbing “airs” as his earliest poems did.
He is bringing in freedom to dialog between “opposing members” which still reach for melodic rhyming structures. More personal in a way like Brautigan! and yet as indirect as ever.
I am getting a lot more hits on my site
Some of the Come Uppance of mine, even in narrative format, are fully finished pieces - and yet coming out of the heaviness in poetry, which are bricks.
Referring to poems as bricks! Straight out of SM. Very important artist for me. But I am a la fleure and a cur. Suffragette City…
I have stuff there I dont remember till I read again. That are fully done pieces. And very much of when that was. Tho in narrative, in spots where I am still working through free writing, there are Loosies, whose dynamic is loose caboose, and not complete. As I find them turning them off…
Extending invitations
Here for people to join me in talks about anything rhetorical.
I dont think I have ever done that. Generally to figure out will take a couple takes. I need three good edits for anything here to make sense.
And also, have to be aware, political swearing my head off isn’t going to make me any friends…beyond American borders necessarily. I have learned this - because I have been told to fuck off, with the political stuff, its dangerous -
Not me. I join Jess, etc. Free and willingly in follow up to these matters because its my country tis of thee.
This is America and I am part of a movement that is pushing back on authoritarianism from the the Trump Monster et al.
Join us!