Bricks: What to do with one.
Comes out of mouth as a brick, hard edged filled with holes…
Beckett could do tight bricks with his verse. Stiff as a neck. Unrelenting.
Shane called me out on that, he helped me find it in me.
And he kept an eye out on it, when went to Acker. Burned the bunny. Called me out that I was renting his dick. And I had to admit it.
Acker wildeness infested with assassins — Kathy Acker, a dad who drowned was believed to be a murderer, a mad suicidal mom.
Fell into burroughs clutches… happy as larry.
Both dead, both her parents got dead by her twenties, her dah a murderer, her Mom I think was from old money but when killed herself was broke, I think.
And then she runs into WB — something I call THE RED ROOM, stuck in box, burning it up like burroughs birds only more demented than Cioran, mordent maggots mimicry my tomb. I fell in love with her freedom, and wild sense of humor.
The mimic. No not really. Its mimetic. Every thing I steal comes up perverted — yes always, learned from Shakespeare? or as Bloom might say, its own translation…
Mansions
Letting me be more me here. Stop protecting THEM.
What does that mean. Freewriting again. No. But I am going to go back and collect those too if I get a chance.
Monsters got mostly left back in the junkyard. Thats why I think of it as a grace.
Grace lace in the face.
Swing back sweet charlotte…. I have chariot called Charlotte, who has three or four nicknames. One being Monkey. Also where Char came from . Because I remember distinctly, that it came out of reading Mencken. Perverted into Char lotta Menkin.
Came across two used volumes of HL Mencken downtown, his books are on development of American Language, he writes in something of a story format, about historical etymology/formulation of words, specifically American formed words.
Its lovely highly recommend.
I read first volume straight through. And also started on one his supplements, I think he did two more.
Girlgod chicks???
St. theresa avilla, theory of mansions, mary seven swords, Santa Muerte —
Using them all — a kind of day of dead anchor??? Yes, it grew out of Oblivion Mining? For years I had fascination with nurturing Oblivion. It was beautiful and terrifying. To hand that off to Santa Muerta feels appropriate. Feel closer to South American cultural symbology, in many ways, than American Christianity or Judaism.
Islam — I like the Sufis. Its why I like Mamdani. He is also Hindu. His is a mix. I have never studied Sufis form of Islam, just looked into their poets. Influence of hindu on Islam.
Yaweh and Allah both have sides that are Warrior gods, identities symmetrical in that fashion. And I spit on that aspect of both of them, in the old European way, as demonic as menacing.
Anxiety of Influence
Zeus bunnies filtering Genet and mythic skids with Rimbaud..
How it roams — Rimbaud’s angelic usage. Contrite or monstrous.
Bloom calls all that out as a tension — with the impossible. However stolen it is perverted…it cant be anything else but? Or maybe we are just fish, swimming in the same sauce…
It is important VERY to let go of anxiety over any of that, so can let it find you.
Bloom’s book, is a lot about shakespeare, about poets forever having to deal with Shakespeares facility.
I argued with him, the whole way through… loved it because of that.
I dont fear rhyme any more, used to frightem me how lavish slavish ravish raid aid … bade. I could be in it.
Now I just look on as Foundational.
When writing I can slip around past Lenny to where he talks about — its not being his, that it finds him — sometimes I call that Didion logic. As she talks about it too.
I dont think of shane as jesus. I was accused of that, sort of.
And yet its a rocker pavillion emblematic — in a way that comes through oscar wilde??? and the sex pistols. Its dizzying.
Jesus… a martyred god, a side of dead, where love is folded into it as a fervor of grace and the influence is a kiss — awaiting death —
And me being wordy birdy gertie — through patches of hell. I lived it but I didnt believe it. There was anxiety there.
I cant go singular. Its combinatorial dynamics for me where fervor in god. As a way out of righteousness! Where dogma drinks your liver for punch.
Bunnys — I sandwhiched through Combinatorics:
Involves the study of permutations, combinations, and the enumeration of structures, often addressing problems related to existence, has deep historical roots, plays a crucial role in probability theory, algorithm analysis, network design — cut from AI
Bunnys through wonderland, and nick, to Leibniz and Kundera. A literary involution, but also involves math. Kundera talks about how novels count themselves out have sequences, got it from one of his books or a book about him, I forget which. I dont block that out. The counting thing that goes on. In thema newtricks.
Subliterate Swoons Books theres multiple, my battle with the trees, and side of dead. Mmmm Stevie Smith and Ariel and Clarice thats my digs… I know. I cant get away from them either.
Sometimes even Lenny says??? Just have to leave as bricks.
Novel pressed and suited up to page 40.
Shane’s generosity was unyielding.
To make it into a bunny, had to find shaherizad, nick gave me I dont know how… I always end up finding things through others, or by others, or of others. And it turns out to be sticky.
Fourfold Infinity
There is something about growing up with magical nature of cartoon physics bleeding into repeats like wily coyote that effects how I think about writing.
Most often use language of math as relief — into gest… because of how math works, with surds leaning in on the absurd and the dizzying nature of infinities.
Coyote forever falling to its death, as the jokes on you. Coos to Marcel on time, through Oscar Wilde. WTF. I dont know.
Oscar very crafty. Almost like Emily at times.
Had to find that resurrectionary fervor… had it but hated it, needed and needled after it, needed their pulse to hear by.
There’s a section on Clarice somewhere about time that I wrote, and want to include. I need to stop and take a view of the rest of the novel…
Chandlers
Then I wander back to who…
Chandler… saying no no no paragraph by paragraph, and Hemingway always back to beginning.
#shanemacgowan #pattismith #nickcave #suzycave #victoria